"Science, curiosity, the need to think and study and explore our surroundings- these, are long standing quests that drive us to be who we are." Read this Article
When one gets depressed they loose their will to think, to study and to explore...

Alot of the time I have this nagging feeling that life really doesn't matter
sure at times I feel I belive in a god. At times the world makes sence.
Other times I just want to say to heck with all this and give up...
Just forget the meds and end up back in the hospital why not it would be fun....
So Ironic I take pills to be somewhat normal and other people take pills to be like me without them!
It is so fun to be hyper and manic, crazy and unbalanced. Out of touch with the daily grind of life the daily rutine of work, school, reationships. Much better to be on secret missions for god. To understand the mysteries of the universe that no on else knows. Yet with the illness come the depression. Back to the why should I care...Why don't I just end my life now. I have thought of so many ways and so many means to end it. Lucky my faith in god, and my fear of blood has kept me alive. Lately I have seen much reason to care. I feel stable a great deal of the time. My medication depakote is doing the trick.